手心的氣十分微弱，輕輕地、淡淡的：指尖與指尖輕觸之間，產生輕微的脈搏感應，也是十分十分輕微的，正因為氣與脈搏感來得那麼輕微，我們唯有在覺察中、觀的注視中，才覺察它們的存在。它們的存在，也是我們的存在，上主能量的存在。

現代社會高舉官能享受、感應甚至刺激的時候，這微弱 (卑微) 的氣的交流、觸動，更顯得美妙和實在，在上主的臨在中，small is beautiful. (微小的、細小的，是美麗的。)

cammy

再一次細讀神父在書中第三日的默觀指引，原來自己這幾天做的默觀練習前，都沒有首先將自己交託、呈上給天主，就「急急地」合十雙掌，開始默觀。

明早的練習，緊記要把自己交託，跟天主講，無論未來的二十分鐘，情況如何，我都嘗試專注地把覺察位放在手心，即使很可能我會在這靜默中分心很多次，但總之就要繼續嘗試，也把自己呈奉給祂。

cammy

默默地、慢慢地、細意地將注意點放在自己的一吸一呼中，每有思緒湧現，隨即也覺察到了，也嘗試默默地、緩慢地把思緒放下，一次又一次地。在觀呼吸之間，開始領會何謂切切實實地，在「做」作觀呼吸，不加思想，不加解釋，不加註釋，盡量不去安排｜計劃將會想要完成的，總之，正是切實地，在這一刻，這一秒中，「觀」那自己的呼和吸。

在那二十分鐘裡，享受那覺察的時刻，「忙」著觀呼吸，甚至不去存在期待、計算默觀祈禱的意義，只在於那「呼」與「吸」。

很自在、充實、美滿。也不多去想那自在、充實、美滿能否持續，次次坐下都可擁有。

cammy

今早的默觀祈禱練習，雖然不時有不同的思緒在腦際間縈繞，穿梭其中，但，每一次，很快提醒自己回到呼與吸中，漸漸地，很自在。尾段時間，感到自己那伏在雙腿上的手掌，那十指指尖的輕微麻痺，也滿輕鬆般。不過，與此同時，又覺察自己有點「趕收工」，想快一點聽到響鬧聲。

原來，要真正的放鬆，也需要我去鍛煉的，完完全全的放輕鬆，就由收緊開始。

cammy

第二次的默觀同行之旅又開始，這幾天，嘗試以一個「新」人，依據書中神父的帶領，由第一課開始，再練一次，即由第二課的「靜坐」和「覺察呼吸」練習開始。

因此，也一改平日在船上的默觀祈禱練習，改為在早上回書舍開始工作前的二十分鐘，在書舍的祈禱室進行。

經過兩次的練習，再重讀第二課神父與各參加者的個別對話，其中很有一個體會：覺察自己的心急。在祈禱室靜坐時，思緒不算太煩擾，或受太多的雜念干擾，但就是有點心急，要靜下來不容易，想那二十分鐘快點過去，好待我打算做這做那，以完成當天計劃要做的「工作」。

對話中，神父叫那參加者不要著急，要將覺察焦點放在當下，體會當下，讓自己慢下來，覺察當下正在著急的自己。

午飯時閱過對話之後，有一份被安慰、被肯定、被認同的感覺，也彷彿「原諒」了自己的心急。心中暗暗鼓勵自己，明天要多覺察。

Cammy

I was very glad that I had a chance to study in New Zealand for six weeks. It started from the middle of February to the end of March. Before I went there, I thought that I had a lot of chances to practise the meditation there because I knew that New Zealand was a place that was very close to the nature.

As I arrived in Auckland (one of the big cities in New Zealand), it was really very close to the nature. There were a lot of trees and grass. It was green everywhere. The sky was always blue. It was very beautiful. It gave you a sense of peace as well. Under this beautiful environment, there was no need for you to practise the mediation so as to communicate with Him. It was because you already dissolved in the nature. You felt that He was always around you.

At night, the New Zealanders slept very early. Everywhere was very quiet. The silence and peace made you feel that God was embracing you.

During these six weeks, I lived in a host family. The host was Elizabeth. She was an experience host. During weekdays, she went to work in a bank. I thought she was an administrator in the bank. After work, she came back home and cooked for me and the other homestay student. During weekends, she cleaned the rooms and did the washing for us. I appreciated her humble serving for us. Actually, many New Zealanders are very nice and helpful. They make you feel warm and happy.

As I come back to Hong Kong now, I really miss New Zealand and the people there very much.

There is a poem that I wrote at the last week in New Zealand.

A poem

What I meet in New Zealand

In the Auckland University, I meet my friendly classmates and helpful teachers.
In Cornwall Park, I find the cicadas which I know as the sound of Summer.
In Auckland Domain, I hear a lot of famous songs in the starlight.
On Bay of Island, the waves along the ninety mile beach keep on waving their hands to us.
In Rotorua, the glowworms in the cave shine as the little stars in the dark.
In Devonport, I see a lot of visitors having coffee in the café enjoyably.
On Waiheki Island, the sunny beaches are waiting for me to visit.
On the Rangitoto Island, the fertile lavas heap on the land.
In the Cornwall Park District School, I get well along with the hard-working teachers and the cute children.

Now, I need to say good bye to them:
Farewell, Auckland University!
Ka Kite Ano, Cornwall Park!
Arrivaderci, Auckland Domain!
Adois, Bay of Island!
Farewell, Rotorua!
Ka Kite Ano, Devonport!
Arrivaderci, Waiheki Island!
Adois, Rangitoto Island!
Farewell, Cornwall Park District School!

Good bye and thank you to all the different races of people that I meet in New Zealand.

默觀、retreat、還有其他課程 … 自己的禱告方式像已混了不同的學習內容。感恩的是，自己在跨越不同的心理關口中，今天下午在難受中自然多了接納自己種種 (不論是身心)，在做很多事情沒被心情太過阻攔，反之更專注了、更認真了。

星期六禱告聚會中講道德經，很期待、很期待，再次會面！


Jane

Yesterday, I went to work in the morning. As I stepped out of the lobby of my building. I found the smiling sunshine, the gentle breeze and the bird singing. All these told me the coming of spring. It made me slow down and stayed for a while in the small garden outside the lobby of my building. I saw different kinds of flowers - the purple ones, the red ones, the yellow ones, the white ones and the pink ones... Some of the passby also stopped and appreciate the flowers. The birds also gathered around and played together. These beautiful scenes eased your burden and refreshed your heart.